Last night while on the phone with Mike we were taking some Facebook quizzes.  One that we both took..."have you found ur true love?" gave us both the results "made for each other/soulmates".  I know it's just a silly made up quiz and doesn't mean anything but it's fun to think that he answered the questions in it with me in mind and got the same result as me.  Everyday he does some silly little thing to show me he loves me.  It's hard being so far apart, but when he does stuff like that, it makes me feel better. 

My favorite is still the morning text messages "Good morning beautiful" "hello sweetheart", or even just a quick "love ya, babe". 

Something new...He asked his sister and brother-in-law to help find US a place.  He told his sister I'm moving in with him and she's very happy for him.  I guess he told her we're rekindling a relationship.  Considering he never really talked about me with his family before, this is a big deal to me.  He's hoping to find a rental before I go down there in November, that way we can look for something permanent together once I move down in February.  He keeps going back and forth on the property in Marble Falls we both liked, mostly because of difficulty with financing.  But we're hoping once I'm down there and we can use both our credit, that'll fall into place a little easier.  I told him I'd be fine with the place in Lampasas, as the monthly payment would be less than $150 a month, but he's worried about the amount of work it'll need.  I've helped out with enough drywalling and painting to work on it...Maybe we could flip it in a year.  We'll see what happens.

I've had a cold all week.  Started with a wicked sore throat last Monday and now is down to the lingering cough.  The cough is just annoying enough to keep me up at night.  Robitussin helps, but only for a little while.  Last night I woke up around midnight with another coughing fit, to the point that my back and sides still ache this morning.  So today, tired and sore, and in the middle of a big invoicing project at work, I'm slightly crabby.  I'm not looking forward to tonight, the first GS leader meeting of the year, and Scott's going.  He doesn't want to, but I told him he has to so he can take over MJ's GS stuff when I leave.  He's been complaining about it all weekend.  He'd rather just pull her out of GS than have to put any effort into doing something for someone other than himself and it really pisses me off.  I'm going to do my best not to get into an argument with him tonight, but if he "forgets" and doesn't show, that's it, I'm done doing GS stuff too.  I'd do it for MJ but it will be a waste of time to get her started in a new level if he's not going to follow through with her.  I've told him as much, so we wait and see how selfish he really is.

On a happier topic, when I woke up last night, I texted Mike to complain about my cough and say good night as he was just getting off work.  He texted back, "Good night, sweet dreams.  I love you."  Not "luv ya", but an actual "I love you" in a text to my phone.  It's another first.  :-)   I'd teased him that he never spells out the "L" word, and very rarely puts an "I" in front of it when he texts me.  He'd always say "well, you know what I mean...".  

It's funny too, that he hates ending our phone calls to the point he will bring up a new topic if I say I should probably go (usually to bed as we talk later in the evening).  Last night it took me over an hour to get off the phone, and he wasn't even talking much because of a migraine.  He just wanted to listen to me talk, so when ever I said I should probably get to bed, he'd ask me another question.  I hate hanging up, I want to be with him in whatever way I can.  I just think it's funny that he's the same way now.  43 year old Mike is so different than 20 something Mike.  

Well, Scott moved out Tuesday while I was at work.  He has only come back to pick up mail twice, and I expect him sometime Monday.  He has however increased the frequency of his calls to me at my office and his text messages.  He has implied that maybe he's not so certain he really wants a divorce and shows it by being angry almost everytime we talk.  He's pissed because I'm not willing to play the games with him anymore of "will we or won't we".  I'm done.  I have someone who definitely wants to be in love with me and wants to prove it to me in what ever way he can.

Speaking of Mike...we are definitely on the way to living together in Texas.  Where in Texas still depends on his job at the PD.  He's not sure if he wants to stay in his current department or try to find work in a different city nearby.  It all comes down to politics.  The place he is wants to let go of one of the permanent guys, and use more of the reserve officers (cheaper that way) but it means changing to a rotating schedule for the permanent officers.  Mike being a permanent officer this would affect the hours he could work a second job he has, making it nearly impossible to keep said second job.  If we are going to BUY and not rent, the second job would need to stay for now.  Hence, the uncertainty of where we will move.

People close to me worry about my willingness to trust Mike because of how badly he handled things between us in the past.  He and I have had several conversations dealing with that exact subject...

The first time he left me, when I was living in Duluth, he did so to pursue his law-enforcement career.  He was unable to find anything in MN, as it seems you have to know someone to get your foot in the door of the departments the size he wanted to work for (smaller town).  His sister lived in TX, not too far from a police academy, so Mike decided, if he could finish the academy he'd have a better shot at getting a job.  He did not want to drag me 1200 miles away from my family and all that was familiar when he didn't even know if he'd have a job, let alone his own place to live.  He had an uncertain future, and was afraid to have me depend on him, when he didn't know what was going to happen.  He admits to being a coward about it, and that it was unfair of him not to let me have a say in if I wanted to go or not.  He claims it as one of the worst decisions he's ever made, right up there with why we broke up most recently, in 2001.

We had been trying a long-distance thing.  Me in MN, just starting out in my new career.  Him in TX pursuing his.  It was hard, seeing each other only 2 or 3 times in that year.  Being 1200 miles apart, I told him I was ok with keeping our relationship open, as long as we could be honest with each other about it.  He wasn't, and getting the call from the live in girlfriend wrecked my trust and ended us a second time.  She was another of his biggest mistakes.  Untrustworthy, unfriendly towards his family, she wrecked his credit, and lost him most of his stuff in a house fire.  Their relationship ended after several months of fighting about a year or so.

Bringing us to when we found each other on Facebook, and started talking.  I was already having problems with Scott, to the point of within a week of talking to Mike the first time, I had an affair with another ex-BF.  Mike listened to me cry my eyes out about how I wrecked my marriage, how I didn't think Scott would ever forgive me if he found out.  He listened and tried to give me advice on how to deal with Scott to try to make my marriage work.  As it became more and more obvious that Scott wasn't interested in fixing our problems Mike and I grew closer again.  Him listening to me vent, and then remember our good times.  When he came up in August for a HS reunion, I was ready to say I was done with my marriage.  We had the most amazing weekend together.  We spent it visiting all our old haunts, and rediscovering all our old feelings for each other.  He apologized, showed real regret over breaking my heart.  Guilt even.  He wished often for a time machine to take back some of those mistakes.  We talked about trying to make it work this time around. 

Now with the divorce in progress, he has promised me...PROMISED (from him HUGE) that we will make it work.  If we have to live in a tent in a friends back yard until we both find jobs we can be happy with that's what we'll do, TOGETHER.  The dream is a house, with some acreage, but it can wait if it has to, as long as we're together.  (His words, not mine).  I love him, and he finds different ways everyday to show/tell me he loves me too.

So yes, it's been a while since I posted...  Blame Facebook.

Since I last posted, Scott and I have decided NOT to work on our marriage and just divorce come the end of our lease.  Not surprising as he was never really willing to work on anything, just kept thinking things would either get better on their own or I would do all the changing.

I landed in the psych ward at one of the local hospitals for a few days.  They had started me on anti-depressants that made me cry ALL the time, I got into a huge fight with M and Scott was once again defending her.  I couldn't handle the stress and the time away helped, but so did switching prescriptions.

After I was out, I thought Scott and I would get back on track.  No, he said it felt like we were forcing things.  So I went to Duluth with Rob and Mike.  Mainly with Mike.  It was the most fun, relaxing, comfortable time I've had in well over a year.  It felt like the early 90s again.  Mike and I visited all our old haunts, and to be honest it felt like more of a honeymoon than my actual honeymoon.  We talked about starting things up again and giving it a real effort to make it work between us.  After I got back home, Scott admitted he was happier without me too, so the separation is officially underway.  He moves out of the apartment the day after Labor Day.

As for Mike, he and I have discussed the possiblity of living together.  I am definitely set on moving out of the area after Scott and I divorce.  Too many memories and ex-friends to deal with.  I'll miss MJ, but she's not enough to put MY life on hold.  I want to try to find a future of my own, hopefully that includes Mike, but if it doesn't that's ok too.  I know I want to try to go back to college, finish my degree, maybe even sit my CPA/CMA. 

As for Scott he's moving in with C & M, and I'm NOT welcome at their house anymore.  All because I refuse to forget she sent Scott a VERY inappropriate picture while Scott and I were supposed to be working things out.  C is blind to the fact that Scott is attracted to his wife and could very easily do something stupid with enough alcohol in him.  I honestly hope it happens before I leave the state.  I'd love a chance to watch that all fall apart.  But that's just me being vengeful.

Anyway, that's my August in a nutshell.

It's got to be the weather...Spring or Fall, when the weather changes so drastically day to day, brings on bronchitis for me.  I feel it lurking in my chest right now.

I finished the first part of my second job today.  Now I have to work with my boss on problem claims to try to detangle the rest of the mess.  From the sounds of it, she won't be available to do this until next Tuesday, which sucks, because I could use more hours.  But then I get to start contacting insurance companies to find out what piece of info they need to process each claim.  I'm NOT looking forward to that.  Thing is, I really don't see this job taking the 10 hours a week they originally said it would, if I can get them caught up and on track.  Once they know which codes will be approved by which insurance companies, and which will get bounced back (as needing more info), they shouldn't get so piled up.  Shouldn't, but not necessarily won't.  The part I finished today was just lack of organization.  Any clerk could've keyed it into the computer.

I think I'll head to bed early...this chest congestion is making me VERY tired...

Friday, took MJ to chiropractor for her 1st appointment.  We're doing it to see if we can ease the allergies this spring.  I know getting alligned regularly has definitely shown improvement in my asthma.  We hope it does the same for her.

Saturday, MJ and I went to my coffee group and sold the last of the GS cookies we had on hand.  We're expecting 3 more cases this Thursday, but half of them are already spoken for.  Those will be the last for this year, putting her final total at 708 boxes sold.  After coffee, I went and got my butterfly tattoo redone.  I'll post a picture after it's healed.  My cousin Terry just opened his own shop.  He's been tattooing for 5 or 6 years, and finally got sick of working for/with others.

Saturday night it was C & M's for dice/cards and drinking.  Scott tried killing M (not really, but that's what she claims) by mixing her a drink a littel stronger than she's used to.  She did NOT appreciate the hangover. 

Sunday was a day at home, cleaning and starting some of the potted plants for our deck.  We needed to get the green peppers in early after last year (having the frost come before we got any peppers).  MJ had fun digging in the dirt, but complained of the smell (fertilizer).  After MJ went back to the EX's we just each played our own video games (Scott LOTR online, me Harvest Moon, Wii).

Now back to our two jobs each for the week.

Well, today I join my husband as well as several of my friends in working two jobs.  My chiropractor is in desparate need of an accounting person to get them caught up on billing and figuring out EOB's.  So for the next six months my family gets free chiropractic care, and I get an extra $100 a week.  I talked with the office manager when I was delivering GS cookies and she was thrilled when I told her I'd be willing to help out.  All told, I still won't be working "full time" hours, but I will no longer have my mid-week day off either.  :-( 

Like my current job, working for the chiropractor I'll still be setting my own hours, which is cool.  The extra money will come in handy for our upcoming trip to Seattle in the fall.  The timing is perfect, as I should be just about finishing up at the time of our trip.

Well, cookie deliveries are roughly half done.  We still have 3 streets to finish, and Scott's family.  I still have to collect money from my sister, and ship orders to MA and NY.  NY will be going out today.  MA sometime tomorrow.  Then I'll start shipping the AnySoldier boxes.  We're going to do at least 3 or 4 batches of boxes to AnySoldier and spread it out over the next month or so, in order to NOT have to pay for all that postage in one expensive lump. 

I can't wait until it's all done!! 

Friday MJ and I spent the night at the MN zoo with Girl Scouts.  It was kind of fun, but very tiring.  We got to go behind the scenes, see the kitchens where they pepare food for the sea animals, dolphins, sharks, etc.  Then we saw where the scuba gear was kept for when they have to dive with the animals.  Last, we went to the kitchen area where they prepare food for the birds and monkeys on the Tropics trail, and the wolves and smaller animals on the MN trail.  We then slept infront of the dolphin tank.  The next morning we were able to see them feed and train the dolphins.  The girls got to ask a dolphin expert about all sorts of things, including the pregnant female currently at the zoo (due any day now).  Once the zoo opened on Saturday we were allowed to explore it at our leisure.  I got some really great pics, but I really don't want to post them here.

After we got back from the zoo, it was time to go pick up GS Cookies.  Filled my car almost completely and filled Scott's trunk.  54 cases, 648 boxes....More cookies than I care to count.  We took all of them to my friend Michelle's to sort and bag.  Michelle offered to help, but I don't think she realized exactly what 648 boxes of GS Cookies would look like piled around her living room.  It took us about 3 hours to get them all sorted out by customer and neighborhood/location.  Now we just have to get them delivered.  That's today's project, and probably the rest of this week too.

648 boxes!  Including 120 for AnySoldier.  I put the order in on Sunday.  Monday at the service unit meeting, a lot of the other leaders were surprised that that was the total for one girl, on her initial order, no booth sales.  I had more than one leader ask me how I got her to do it.  It was all her, she went door-to-door, she explained her service project, she just kept asking to go out, until she hit her goals.  She even got her classmates to draw pictures and write letters to send with the AnySoldier boxes.  And she wants to do MORE next year.  I think she's hoping to work her way up to the 1000 mark.

Opening weekend seems to have been a success.  Door-to-door and phone/e-mail sales for the weekend were over 220 boxes.  60 of which are going to be donated to military personnel serving overseas.  MJ thinks it's cool that we can give them a "taste of home" while they're stuck over there.  Scott (and various other family members) have said getting Girl Scout cookies while in the service would have been AWESOME, so they think this is a great service project idea.  It seems to be a hit with our customers, 78% are contributing this year, where last year only 18% donated to the nursing home.  We've even had several people order ONLY for the donation project, where that did not happen last year.  Almost half way to goal and two more weekends to sell.  We're about 100 boxes ahead of last year's opening weekend.  I'm very proud of MJ for really putting herself out there, and for trying to explain her service project to every customer.

This past Saturday MJ earned her Frosty Fun Badge...  Little did I know it would mean me freezing my toes for 2 hours while she went snowshoeing.  We were able to knock out 3 more badges at home this weekend.  Now she's down to 2 that are almost complete.  We should finish one next weekend, while warming up after door-to-door cookie sales, and the other we'll finish at a workshop in May (originally, we were not sure we'd be attending said workshop).  We got confirmations back for most of the events for the rest of the school year, including a couple of overnights at the MN Zoo.  It should be fun.

As I mentioned, Girl Scout Cookie Sales start SATURDAY, January 17.  This year's new cookie, Dulce De Leche, is not bad.  Caramel icing drizzled over what tastes almost like a coconut shortbread with caramel chips in it.  They discontinued All Abouts though (fudge backed shortbread).  A LOT of complaints on that decision, maybe they'll be smart and bring them back next year.
Otherwise the usual Thin Mints, Samoas, Trefoils, Do-Si-Dos and Tagalongs, as well as last year's new one, Sugar Free Chocolate Chip.  If anyone reading this is interested let me know where to send an order form (have it in Excel).

I am so looking forward to starting my days off tomorrow.  MJ's at her mother's for the 2nd half of winter break and Scott has to work both jobs Thursday and Friday (who gets their oil changed on New Year's Day???) so I'll have the house to myself.  Don't get me wrong, I love having MJ around, but a week with her can be trying at her age.  She's getting moody, and yet still craves attention, but doesn't know how to deal with it.  She basically either asks continuous strings of silly questions (what if our cat was blue? how high would it go if you stacked all the semi-trucks in the world on top of each other? etc.) or she makes digusting mouth noises (her favorite right now sounds exactly like our cat vomitting).  If she's not doing either of those things, she's hiding in her room, listening to music and trying to figure out if she's too old to play with dolls.

For New Year's Eve, Scott and I are going to C & M's house.  Should be fun...  Last year they hosted a party for WLS patients, but not many showed up because M didn't want to have any alcohol.  This year, it's just going to be the 4 of us and plenty of alcohol.  They won't have their kids either (thank heaven for grandparents!) so we can make as much noise as we like and not have to listen to their daughter complain about grown people acting like teenagers.

And, as a few others have listed theirs, here's what I got for Christmas...  A new "Blue" M&M shirt and matching socks, and a blue M&M pillow, from Scott & MJ.  A fleece blanket (hand knotted) from M.  Gift cards to Applebees and Olive Garden from my parents.  And some various other items, but those were the ones that stand out. 

Saturday we went to Chris and Michelle's to celebrate my and their son's birthdays.  Michelle made a nummy chocolate/peanut butter ice cream sandwich cake.  AND Scott found me some cherry chip cake mix....Michelle and I have both been looking for it (my favorite).

Sunday our party went off without a hitch.  Dinner came out great, everybody liked the ham.  We had MORE than enough food, even feeding 4 teenagers and 2 pre-teen eating machines.

Today, I was able to work from home with full access to my office computer.  WOO HOO!  I'm not sure how happy my boss is about it, but I'm glad.  My commute this morning would have easily taken 2 hours with all the ice and accidents (normally a 25 minute drive).  Now, I can log in at 4:00 in the morning if I wake up and get a jump start on some of the invoicing instead of wasting my time laying in bed trying to fall back asleep.

Well, I didn't get done what I needed to so I had to come into the office today.  No biggy, I don't really mind my job.

Scott's grandfather is going in for an angioplasty this morning.  He's 91 and needs open heart surgery but they don't think he's strong enough so they're doing this instead, hoping it'll work for now.  They said if they tried to do the surgery he would most likely NOT survive it.  Even the angioplasty is risky for him right now.  It really sucks because December and January are really tough months for Scott's family...  A great aunt, who was like a grandma to him died in December, one of his grandmothers too.  His mom was diagnosed with cancer in early January (only because we got married in December and she put off going to the doctor until after the wedding).  Every time we put up our Christmas tree, my husband gets depressed.  If something were to happen to his grandfather...I think it could put an end to Christmas at our house, permanently.

I finally got an answer out of my mom last night about whether they were coming to my B-day or not...Not.  Typical.  It seems every time I invite them (without them suggesting it) they can't make it for one reason or another.  But, Scott and I agree, this now means we can flake out on any events at their house using the same excuse..."[one of us] has to get up early for work the next day".  I mean really, if dinner is at 4:00, you'd think being able to leave by 5:30, with a 30-40 mile drive, would get you home in plenty of time to be in bed by 8:00.  I swear the real reason is they don't want to meet new people (our friends, Chris and Michelle).

So happy thoughts...None for today, sorry.  I'm too stressed.

Today my happy thought is Sugar-Free Cinnamon Dulce Latte....  mmmmm!

My boss gave me over $20 in gift cards to my favorite Seattle based coffee chain.  (He prefers a Minnesota based chain, and wouldn't use the cards before they expired). 

I was a little disappointed when I went to open my pumpkin loaf and found gingerbread instead.  It's the 2nd day in a row that that particular clerk made that particular mistake.  I was able to correct her yesterday, but was in more of a hurry this morning.  Not that I don't like gingerbread, but I was really wanting pumpkin loaf.  :-(

Another happy...If I can get through my stacks of paperwork today, I won't have to work tomorrow.  So, signing off, to get my work done.

Michelle volunteered to bake me a birthday cake for the party I'm hosting this Sunday.  (She is apalled at the thought of anyone baking their own birthday cake.)  She was trying to talk me into letting her host my party so that I wouldn't have to cook that day, but as it is supposed to also serve as my family's Christmas dinner (if parents and sister ever say they're coming) I told her NO.  As it is she's bringing a wild rice hot dish, homemade (NOT CANNED) sweet potatoes, and now a spice cake.  If everyone who has been invited show up it should be 16 people.  Right now, however, 4 of them have not RSVP'd, including my parents and sister.  It'll be the first party (other than MJ's b-day parties) Scott and I have hosted.  I'm really looking forward to it.

I made it in to the office.  My car almost didn't want to come here today.  First, there were at least as many ice-related accidents this morning as there were yesterday morning.  (I swear, people forget what MN roads are like in the winter as soon as all the snow melts).  Second, I have a BAD coolant mixture in my car right now.  Scott did a flush and fill on both our cars at the shop he works at and he had the same problems I did.  Car looks like it's over-heating, but in actuality is frozen.  I had to stop twice this morning, let the car sit until whatever ice chunk was stuck in my thermostat melt, then go again.  But I made it.  Tonight I get to take my car back to the shop and have Scott do a partial flush and fill to get a better coolant mixture.

Another happy...Scott and I exchange anniversary gifts last night (a little early).  I gave him Season 2 of "The Unit".  He gave me a new sapphire and diamond ring.  It's very pretty.  :-)

This is the first chance I've had to sit at the computer for more than five minutes all weekend.

Saturday, we went on a double date with Chris and Michelle.  Dinner at Don Pablo's and a second run showing of Eagle Eye.  It was VERY good to get out for the night.

Sunday, Baked brownies, stayed in where it's nice and warm

Today...Working from home (ice day).  My boss still has to get me remote log-in info, but it should be up and running soon.